Our Values

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This is a full list of values. It is a further explanation of some of the core values and additional values that would be ideal to share, to ensure general common ground on high-conflict topics.

 

"Free" Schooling

Free schooling, unschooling, democratic schooling, Waldorf-style, Montessori-style (maybe even a local school along these lines for some kids), playing is learning, and interest-based education. If testing is needed for some countries or states in the U.S. we would prepare children accordingly, but with as much hands-on experience as possible. A focus on building social-emotional intelligence and connection with each other and the Earth. It would be awesome to regularly incorporate old ways of doing things, anywhere from stone-age skills to homesteading skills. It would be great to travel together to educational gatherings, like an ancestral skill share, a museum, or even other countries. Above all, though, we'd encourage listening to children. If one child doesn't like being homeschooled or doesn't like the school they're attending, or even generally how they're being raised, then we encourage parents and community members to closely listen to that and make changes with the child's full involvement in the process and decision making- without shame for retracting the decision or changing their mind after trying the change. 

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Consent for All & Exiting Power Struggles

Forcing things on to children because they're smaller or less mentally or emotionally developed is violence. If we ignore or discredit their boundaries, consent, emotions, or reason we are taking advantage of their size and not just disrespecting them but actually -abusing- them. We all have moments when it's hard to be a parent, but we walk away if we need to personally cool down- as our level of health allows, not forcing or controlling children. Force also greatly erases trust and creates a power struggle. There are many ways to avoid power struggles in a parent-child relationship, read the book "Hunt, Gather, Parent" if you're interested, the best way is to personally slow down, get rid of any time constraints in your mind, calm down together if need be, and listen and observe. Get curious. Together we cooperate and make a decision we're all content with- a child's word as equal as an adult's. It's not just about the moment and this exact decision, its about building a foundation of healthy relationships so our children grow into adults who are capable of healthy relationships and who know their value, as well as everyone else's- and of course so many more reasons. 

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Respect For Children

Respecting a child's right to feel and express emotions, be able to socially connect with other children freely (as they respect other children's boundaries with space and time), have say over their intellectual development, explore their spiritual development, listen to and create their physical boundaries and what they put into their bodies and how much.  Basically, this is all about respect. The type of autonomy an adult is allowed to have over their own life is what we also honor for kids. We don't "give" this, it's a right they have. Ownership over themselves. 

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Full Participation For All

How will children ever become mature, confident, helpful adults if they never participate in adult life things with healthy, mature adults? We're very keen on children being a part of basically everything. We want to create our home and ultimately the village in a way where kids are very noticeably able to be included easily. "Learning towers" are a great example of this for modern homes- kids able to reach the counter and participate in food preparation, dish washing, eye level conversation, etc. 

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"Bad" Behavior as Communication

Seeing a child's "bad" behavior merely as communication of something kids cannot put language to or identify themselves. Emotional outbursts, rebellious teens, tantrum-filled toddlers, etc. are only trying to tell us something and often asking for help. These are all things that point to children being too controlled, too overwhelmed, feeling unaccepted or misunderstood, tired, not getting enough nutrients or water, or carrying too much or too little responsibility (basically asking the questions, "Am I useful? Am I capable of doing helpful things? Of being an adult someday? Am I a valuable member of this community?"). "Bad" behavior always has a reason and honestly it usually has to do with us or what they specifically need from us as their (hopefully) most trusted ally. This is a common value of gentle parenting, peaceful parenting, respectful parenting types.

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Acknowledgement of Differences Between Male & Female

We believe that there are female-specific abilities and capacities and male-specific abilities and capacities. (We are not liberal or conservative- we identify as free thinking individuals.) By witnessing social structures and styles of human connection and culture around the world and the US, as well as in our own critical thinking time, we've personally concluded that woman and men, while having a ton of overlap in what we're both good at and capable of, there are some things both are individually built for. Basic example, only women can biologically, naturally give birth and nurse. Men and womens' hormones and cycles are different. Our bodies are built differently, to reach into greater capacities that aren't able to be done all in one human system. We don't believe women only need to stay home and tend to children, but we also don't believe women are made for a full-time work structure built on a male hormone cycle. We also think that generally, when women gather with just women, magical, generous, harmonious, laughter-filled, nourishing things happen for a community. And when men gather with just men, crazy, inspirational, hopeful, heart-lifting, wild things happen for a community that then feels protected and safe. We want to gather as a WHOLE community, but we would also love to gather women with women and men with men, ideally in a circle of all being seen as equals. We've seen it leads to deeper health and fulfillment for everyone involved. 

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Cleanliness

We've seen too many ecovillages, intentional communities, etc. with several trash dumps next to their living spaces, sometimes on top of unsanitary humanure situations. Of course, individual families can do whatever they want with their own space, but when it comes to communal spaces or a neighbor's space let's REALLY value cleanliness, organization, and minimal stuff in general. We know once the problem of trash becomes too overbearing it's hard to deal with, so let's start it all off by taking care of it and not letting anything, at all, pile up. It's extremely dangerous for kids as they obviously love to climb and rummage. We don't love the thought of anyone contracting an easily avoidable disease or getting stabbed by a rusty nail. It also leads to a pretty poor reputation with others and we would love for our community to be, and to be known as, a place where children's overall health is nurtured, as well a a place to host "outside" community members with pride.

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Low Pollution

Low noise pollution, light pollution, or intruding smells. For example, smoking weed infringes on another family's space and affects their quality of life. Having a light on the front of your house that turns on when an animal walks by and floods your neighbor's window at night affects their quality of life. Blasting music, using gas-powered equipment, especially vehicles (trucks, motorcycles, etc.), or an adult screaming outside while a child could be napping nearby, all affect your/our neighbor's quality of life and our long-term relationship with them/us. We greatly value consideration for each other and how we all influence the lives of adults and children alike- every action is either positive or negative for a specific group of people and it's helpful to step back before making a decision and asking which one your action would be perceived as. 

We would really like to strive towards a community of peacefulness, calmness, and of course, fun and laughter! Too much consideration all the time can cause a lot of stress. We're just saying anything that directly infringes on a neighbor's right to quiet, natural (or no) light, pleasant (or no) smells, we suggest doing a bit further away or checking in with the people involved first.

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Substance-Free

Consciousness-altering substances should be used at a minimum, as they don't negatively affect your neighbor. For example, weed, alcohol, psychedelics, tobacco, etc. We're not new to these substances and we don't judge anyone for using them, but we also don't think it's a sign of a mature adult to use any of these in excess, especially when carrying the responsibility to care for and model healthy lifestyle habits to tinier humans. We're tempted to include caffeine in this because it has a propensity to encourage anger and a mean attitude, but consumed with awareness of one's own limits it can be beneficial- the same can be true for mycro-dosing psilocybin or a glass of wine. We're also not opposed to the ceremonial use of things like ayahuasca if done with the intention of growth instead of escape. We would much rather you come to our house at 2am with an emotional crisis instead of indulging in a substance. We would encourage neighbors to lean on the community and see internal struggles as an opportunity to build relationships through vulnerability- a much more real and life-changing experience than most (if not all) substances could offer.

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(and obviously, meth, cocaine, opium, or any hard substance is a complete no-go)

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If a family is struggling with minor substance abuse or there's someone that sees an issue with this we're very open to discussion about it because we really do believe humans are the medicine for other humans. Without a close (like, very close- emotionally, spiritually, in proximity, etc.) community of trusted friends, it is very difficult to refrain from indulgence, especially with substances that promise escape from such a lonely existence.. or just boredom. None of us might be at our ideal place before coming together- we think this could even lead to deeper friendships as we see each other through the journey. As long as everyone's ideal is clear and we generally keep moving towards that, we don't see initial problems of indulgence as a huge issue (as long as it's recognized as an issue up front). 

 

Less Distraction, More Interaction

Less stimulating toys, more nature, movement, people, stories, and games. Bonus points if the stories are folklore or if the games include climbing or wrestling. 

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General "Natural-Living" & Healthcare

An expectation of most food being organic, nutrient-dense, pesticide-free, and non gmo, an affinity for herbal/plant medicine, natural fibers, and a chemical-free household. This isn't to create rules for living in more natural ways for individual households, it's to create an expectation and basis of erring on safety for communal activities/spaces. For example, we're all preparing food for an event, so I will make it organic, grass-fed, etc., etc., because conventionally grown and processed is more harmful and other families care about that. Another example is having a communal space and there's commercial cleaner or bleach under the cabinet and a child goes exploring... that obviously is not safe for a child, and neither is it for us. Ideally, we would love for all families involved to really value this for their individual household, but it's not our highest priority for the community. 

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We discourage families from vaccinating or regularly seeing a conventional/western doctor, pediatrician, or dentist. We have first hand accounts of how these practices can cause incredible pain and suffering long-term. We rely on the health that comes from good, close relationships, plant/herbal medicine, and long term holistic care practices that build the immune system and prevent short term sickness and chronic long-term dis-ease (good sleep patterns, good mineral-rich water, clean organic, local (when possible) food, laughter, physical activities and challenging our bodies). Unless in the case of an emergency and no one we are connected with knows a solution, we avoid care from conventional sources. There is no shame in seeking out western medicine for answers, but if it is for your child and they are mentally or emotionally suffering from being involved in/anticipating such appointments/procedures, then we'd question whether your philosophy of parenting and life are in line with the rest of the community. This community is based on listening to children, respecting them, giving them ultimate control over their own bodies, and looking at them as a whole being. If they are traumatically being forced to get vaccinated, receive a procedure, or involuntarily trust their bodies to an "authority" figure, whom they may have no reason to trust with such personal matters, then we'd question your honesty about your family's view of children and start a curiousity-filled conversation about it. Your family's personal choices are your own, but they undoubtedly closely impact the culture and feeling of the community. Your private matters are also public when they spill over in the form of joy or suffering, especially with children, as the emotional overflow for them is almost uncontrollable.

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Open, Clear, Curious Communication

Bitterness and resentment are much worse for a community than saying a hard truth. Let's all listen with humility and slowness, genuinely hearing each other, and responding with a desire to love each other better as we learn how to live in community together. There are some book studies or some topics to intentionally circle up around that could help with this. Let's assume the best of each other, and with the utmost consideration for the future of every relationship, guide each other toward loving and curious speech about each other (including children), and not gossip or assume the worst of each other. 

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Respect for Individual Household Boundaries

We really look forward to spending tons of time with each other- doing chores together, gardening together, maybe running to market together, playing with kids together, making bonfires, preparing food, eating, laughing, crying, singing, dancing, caring... the whole thing. But if someone needs a time of the day or a specific errand to be alone or with their individual family then that should be respected without personal offense. We all elected each other, it's most likely not personal and even if it were, the value of clear communication will quickly (hopefully) bring it to light so it can mend. We will all be clear with our boundaries as time together moves forward and we will all figure out our rhythm and preferences. 

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Co-Ownership & Democratic Process

No one person or couple will "own" the vision, the land, or the communal spaces. We all co-own the vision and the spaces, creating it through cooperation and common ground. Of course, we would all individually own our own households and the surrounding little area, which we could also collectively come together to initially build. Ultimately, if someone does not feel like they own something then they will not take responsibility for it. That comes with major consequences. We hope to style levels of co-ownership and democractic process after the success of intentional communities Ecovillage de Pourgues and Friskoven, having individual ownership over their own small spaces and then very directly co-owning everything else. 

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Forethought For the Future

We want to think 30, 40, 50 years down the line... is our initial set-up sustainable? Not just for the environment, but for the changing age of parents and children and for the growth of the community. Can we get what we need and keep up what we're doing for sustenance when we're all 90? Is it a place that many other people could join? Would our kids want to live their adult life there? We expound on this consideration on the "Create the Village" page.

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We could include more things that we are personally convicted of, but the values listed above are the things that would be nice to share as values in order to trust people in the community the most. We think without sharing these values the heart of the reason for the community would be lost and harmony between our family and yours would be difficult. If your family generally jives with these values, we encourage you to continue on and read about the village vision here or at the "Vision" tab at the top of the page.

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Of course, as the core families are decided on this website as a whole will be more concentrated and honed into what specifically defines us all and the vision. 

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